NO SIMIANS IN PARODIES OF BOOK TWO, PEOPLE!
by Felicitations
Summary: BUT MINE IS AN EXCEPTION! heehee! I updated! GASP what a shocker! anyway, reveiw! and read it of course, but still REVIEW! okey dokey i'm done now :)


Harry Potter and the Chamber of Wild Simians who went on a Rampage and Died  
Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! I actually got an idea for a good story!!!! It's one  
that everyone else is doing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A parody of book two without  
bothering to do a parody on number one!!!!!!! =) =O = ( =D  
Chapter One: The Worst Day to Sell a Bunch of Drills  
Dudley: Baaaaacon.^.^  
Petunia: Grow fatter, love, grow fatter and we will stick you in a pot to  
boil.  
Dudley: Baaaaacon.^.^  
Vernon: *ignoring sloppy eating noises coming from the pig- oops, I meant  
Dudley, heh heh* Now, as we all know, today is a very important day.  
Harry: GASP!!!  
Vernon: This is the day that Harry turns twelve!  
Harry: But- don't you know? Today is when you make that big drill deal!  
Vernon: Ahh, screw that. Wait- I'm British, aren't I? Okay. *hem hem* Ahh,  
to chicken land with it. I think we should go through the schedule one more  
time. Petunia, you will be-?  
Petunia: Adorning the kitchen with pretty decorations I got at only half-  
price from Party Supplies Plus! *turns to camera and winks* ^,~  
Vernon: Ahh... kay. And Dudley?  
Dudley: Calling Don Measley and Harmony Langer and all of Harry's sweet  
little friends. ^.^  
Harry: .  
Vernon: And. *menacingly* Birthday Boy?  
Harry: *bored* I'll be sitting at the table, surrounded by gifts and being  
the life of the party.  
Vernon: *preppy* Like, totally!!! *giggle* ^,~You have, like, sooooooo got  
it! *giggle* ^,~ H! *clap clap clap clap* A! *clap clap clap clap* R!  
*clap* R! *clap* Y! *clap* HARRY!!! *giggle* ^,~  
Dudley: 0.0  
Vernon: I'll lead the guests in and pour some drinks-  
Harry: GASP!!! Alcohol? Kewl. ;]  
Vernon: Some apple juice or chocolate milk should do.  
Harry: &@*^!!! :(  
Vernon: And at eight-fifteen-  
Petunia: I'll announce presents!!!  
Vernon: And Dudley, you'll-  
Dudley: I will be you personal waiter this evening! Cake? ^.^  
Petunia: *major New York accent* Ah, shut yer trap, ya load o' bat crap.  
Dudley: :'(  
Vernon: Yes, yes, and Harry?  
Harry: *bored* I'll be sitting at the table, surrounded by gifts and being  
the life of the party.  
Vernon: Like, hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha *big big  
breath* hahahahahahahahahaha!!! ^,~ Like, totally!!!!! ^,~ Major!!! ^,~  
*giggle*  
*Later*  
Harry: Happy Drill Day to meee. Happy Drill Day to meee. *contemplates  
life*  
*sees freaky green eyes in hedge*  
Harry: Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!!! *girly*  
*Fat Dudley enters the scene*  
Dudley: I know what day it is.^.^  
Harry: The Great Humberto Marathon?  
Dudley: *cough* Nooo.^.^  
Harry: Hmmm.. Ooh! The new Larry Dotter movie comes out!  
Dudley: No! ^.^  
Harry: *still clueless* I give up. What is it?  
Dudley: Today's Dad's drill deal. Why are you so depressed? ^.^  
Harry: I dunno. I just need room to run. and play. and stuff.  
Dudley: *beginning to slightly dance* Young man, there's no need to feel  
down, I said, young man, pick yourself off the ground.^.^  
Harry: *hopeful eyes*  
Dudley: I said, young man, 'cause you're in a new town, there's no need to  
be unhappy.  
Young man, there's a place you can go, I said, young man, when you're short  
on your dough, you can, stay there, and I'm sure you will find, many ways  
to have a good time.  
*Five little techno sounds erupt from no where* It's fun to stay at the  
Y.M.C.A., It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A-aa.^.^  
Harry: *grinning* really???  
Dudley: Umm. what's the next line? Hmm..^.^ *walks off*  
Harry: *dejected*  
*Later, at party*  
Vernon: Harry, we are truly sorry. None of your sweet little charming- wait-  
literally CHARMing friends could come.  
Harry: -_-` And?  
Vernon: All the more cake for you!!!  
Harry: *sigh* Well, by chance, I seem to be sensing a subconscious notion  
that a supernatural butler who speaks in third person grammar will be  
concealed in this delectable entree, so could you please remove yourselves  
from the facility while I sever the frosting-coated pastry?  
*all three stay*  
Harry: *ticked* Leave.  
Vernon: Oooh!!! Right!  
*they leave*  
Harry: *severs frosting-coated delectable entrée*  
Supernatural Butler who Speaks in Third Person: Ola, senor!  
Harry: GASP!!!  
OoO0OoO0OoO0OoO0OoO0OoO0OoO0OoO0OoO0OoO0OoO0OoO0OoO0OoO0O  
Dun-dun dun!!!  
Who is this Spanish supernatural butler? Will the drills ever be sold??  
Will Luna mysteriously appear in book TWO???  
Find out in the next chapter: Dobby's Greeting!!! 


End file.
